Communicated

Balloons Announcing Baby Allegra's Birth

I napped yesterday morning.  For a few minutes I felt a warmth on my chest as I laid on the bed.  It was the same warmth I felt when holding Baby Allegra on my chest to sleep--my heartbeat soothing her.

And last night, after her funeral, the sunset was pink.

She must miss us too.

Graveside Service for 

Allegra Sprouse Pulley

Wednesday, June 22 at 7pm

At the Cemetary of Bayleaf Baptist Church

12200 Bayleaf Church Road

Raleigh

Although we are not members of Bayleaf Baptist Church, they are graciously providing space for Allegra so she remains close to home and in view of the church's children's park.

Gone

Baby Allegra passed away at 6 this morning.

She struggled with severe congestion all night making it impossible for her to eat or sleep. I spent the night holding and comforting her.  After sitting outside to watch the sky lighten and hear the birds chirp, we walked inside and she died in my arms.

Her tiny, sweet spirit changed us as we worked to make her quick life a happy one.  She is already missed.

We will post funeral arrangements here at the beginning of the week.

Celebrated

Dear Baby Allegra:

You were born 4 weeks ago today.  I don't know how to do this.  I'm happy.  I'm sad.  I'm scared.  And I'm attached.  Maybe this would be easier if we tried not to love each other so much.

Love,
Your Mom

Wished

Today Levi said to me, "Mommy, I wish Baby Allegra could stay with us her whole life."

She will.

Day 27

Unfortunately, Baby Allegra was grey today so she spent much of the afternoon and evening on oxygen. During feedings she would then turn purple because breathing WHILE eating is sometimes frustrating.

The good news?  She was surrounded by the fun, noisy chaos of siblings playing with cousins and held by adoring aunts and an uncle.

The picture at right shows Baby Allegra spending time with her big sister Cairo.

Styled

Two swirls of hair on the sides of Allegra's head meet in the middle to effortlessly form this mohawk.

Read

A friend recently gave us a children's book titled "The Three Questions" based on a story by Leo Tolstoy.   Through serving others, the book's main character learns about compassion and living in the moment.  In the end he is told...

"Remember then that there is only one important time, and that time is now.  The most important one is always the one you are with.  And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side."

Inside the front cover, my friend inscribed, "For Allegra, whose time is now."

Day 24

Allegra is hungrier and eating more, but doesn't seem bigger yet.

When she opens her mouth to eat, her lips form a circle no bigger than a Cheerio.

She likes to stretch her arms.

When she sleeps she rests the knuckle of her left index finger in the dimple of her left cheek.

Celebrated

Dear Baby Allegra:

You were born 3 weeks ago today. You have affected more people in days than most people do in years. Somehow, your imperfections inspire.  No Olympic medal, Ivy League diploma or Nobel Prize could make me prouder of you.

Love,
Your Mom