Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I let myself buy clothing for Allegra yesterday. I ran into Gap and bought a few pink preemie onesies and a pair of teensy lavender pants with ruffles on the bum. The purchases felt happily hopeful yet restrained by Allegra's unknown life span. I didn't allow myself to buy much and I wouldn't buy anything the next size up no matter the sale price or cuteness factor. Standing in the store surrounded by clothes for growing kids made me ache. And wonder. And appreciate the now.
Day 13 Update: One apnea episode that turned Allegra purple. One new sleeper worn. One diaper messily fell off. Then one new onesie worn. One visit from the hospice nurse. One helpful grandma left. One loving aunt left.